Rediscovering the True Essence of Love: A Guide for Every Woman

February 28, 2024

Article written by
Dr. Tessy Ojo CBE
Founder, Tessy's Brunches
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As we come to the end of February, the month dedicated to celebrating love, I wanted to pause and reflect on what love really means, especially from the lens of a woman who juggles multiple plates.

In the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives, amidst the chaos of juggling roles as mothers, caregivers, professionals, and survivors, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters—the essence of love. Love isn't just a fleeting emotion or a romantic notion; it's a profound force that sustains us through life's trials and tribulations. 

For the everyday woman—be it the working mother racing against time, the survivor, the caretaker balancing the needs of elderly parents and a young family, or the individual grappling with a range of challenges—love takes on myriad forms. It's not merely about grand gestures or fairy-tale romance; it's about finding solace, strength, and resilience in the face of adversity.

Love, in its purest form, begins with self-compassion. As women, we often prioritise the needs of others above our own, neglecting our well-being in the process. But true love encompasses self-care and acceptance. It's about embracing our flaws, honouring our boundaries, and nurturing our souls with kindness and grace. Taking time for ourselves isn't selfish; it's an act of love that replenishes our spirits, enabling us to better care for those around us.

Moreover, love manifests in the relationships we cultivate—with our children, partners, friends, and community. It's about showing up, not just during the good times, but also in moments of vulnerability and struggle. For the working mother striving to strike a balance between career and family, love means being present, even in the smallest gestures—a shared meal, a bedtime story, or a heartfelt conversation amidst the chaos.

For Valentine's day this year, I chose to order my favourite meal from a restaurant as our family dinner which we all sat and enjoyed together. I choose me!

Even when things have not gone to plan in our relationship, love can take on a different hue—it's about reclaiming our worth and dignity, setting boundaries, and prioritising our safety and well-being. It's about recognising that we deserve love and respect, and taking the necessary steps to break free from cycles that could be toxic. Love empowers us to advocate for ourselves, seek support, and rebuild our lives with courage and resilience.

For the woman sandwiched between caring for elderly parents and a young family, love becomes a testament to endurance and sacrifice. It's about honouring the bonds of family while navigating the challenges of caregiving with compassion and patience. Love means seeking help when needed, practising self-compassion, and finding moments of joy amidst the chaos.

Similarly, for those grappling with trauma or burnout, love serves as a beacon of hope and healing. It's about seeking therapy or support groups, prioritising self-care, and nurturing our inner child with gentleness and understanding. Love enables us to confront our pain, transform our wounds into sources of strength, and cultivate resilience in the face of adversity.

Ultimately, love is a journey—a continuous process of growth, forgiveness, and connection. It's about showing up for ourselves and others with empathy, authenticity, and vulnerability. It's about embracing the messy, imperfect beauty of life and finding meaning and purpose in our shared humanity.

As we navigate the complexities of womanhood, let us remember that love isn't confined to a specific moment or relationship—it's woven into the fabric of our existence, shaping our experiences, and guiding our choices. Whether we're celebrating the joys of motherhood, overcoming the scars of abuse or divorce, or simply striving to find balance amidst life's challenges, love remains our greatest ally and source of strength.

So, as we begin to wrap up this month of love, it is my hope that you are able to take some time to pause and reflect on how you showed up for yourself this month, how you loved yourself in those everyday moments of connection, resilience, and self-discovery. 

For in embracing love in all its forms, we reclaim our power, nourish our souls, and illuminate the path towards a life filled with meaning, purpose, and joy.

Loving you this month and every month,

Tessy x